Loving Dom vs. abuse?

With so much in O/our relationship revolving around control, spankings, humiliation, and using of my body, it is easy for someone to come to the idea that this may be an abusive dynmaic rather than a loving one.  So many of the aspects of BDSM in general could be misused in an abusive way. That beings said, the simple way to tell the difference lies in consent.  Before venturing into this dynamic, Master and i discussed limits and comfort zones. Also, before Master and i try something new, we discuss it beforehand.  Another key is safe words. Though i rarely use them, i know that if i do use them, Master will respect them.

Master and i have a relationship built on love and respect.  Master may use “degrading words” or bark commands to me, but he doesn’t ever disrespect me.  Master loves and dares me. He cares for me and protects me. He pushes my limits ONLY when i am okay with them being pushed- in fact, if i am being completely honest, more times than not i am asking Him to push His limits for me during playtime.

Many abusive partners demand control, use hurtful words, physical intimidation and pain to weaken their partners. There are also people in the BDSM world that use their “kinks” as a way excuse abusive behavior. When looking into beginning a dynamic with someone new, watch the way the treat you prior to beginning. Someone that demands obedience before you agree to submit to them, that can be a major red flag.

Loving names

i have spent a great deal of time here discussing how Master and i came to get our respective roles and titles. But, i don’t believe i have discussed other names used rather than just Master and slave.

To start, the names i am to call Master are as follows:

• Master
• Sir
• My love (to be used only in public situations)
• Baby (again to be used only in public)

 

Master on the other hand has many many names for me, and uses them in a variety of situations.

• slave
• submissive
• baby
• slut
• bitch
• dirty slut
• whore

 

While the first couple are rather straight forward, a few on that list have a very negative connotation to most of the world.  To me these words mean differently than something negative. To be called these words is actually a good thing, it fills me with pride to know that Master uses me as His slut or whore.  Traditionally speaking these words mean someone who is used for sexual pleasure with little need of romance in return.  It is my aspiration for Master to use me as He sees fit, including in a sexual way. As far as being called His bitch, it shows me that he views me as loyal and unconditionally his- just like a dog 🙂

In actuality all of these words serve to remind me that i belong entirely to Him, and that is a fantastic feeling ❤

What a Real Spanking Feels Like

So it happened.  i was fully aware that i messed up.  Master knew it, i knew it.  When Master instructed me to strip and prepare for punishment, there was clearly a difference this time. What has always hurt my heart, and stung my bottom was about to be worse than ever before.  Master had such a confident and determine air about Him.

As i laid across His bed and prepared for the worst, i felt this wave of fear come across me like i had never experienced during a punishment from Him before.  Expecting a small warm up lash with His belt, i prepared.

As the belt came swiftly and hard i heard it crack upon my bare bottom and felt the sting much deeper than every before.  Master watched as my body trembled and shook with slight shock of the powerful blow.

As Master told me to never disrespect Him again, i agreed- hoping to soften the next blow.  Then swiftly i heard and felt the next impact.  my rear end feeling like it was on fire, my body trying to crawl away from the pain, my mind knowing i needed to stay put, and my mouth apologizing through pained moans.

One by one the belt hit harder and faster than i had ever known before. With each smack i gripped onto the bedsheets with my fists tighter trying to diffuse some of the pain.  my little wimped grew slightly with each sting until it was one long moan of pain.  Master, knowing that i was done, reminded me of who He is and that He demands my respect-ALWAYS.  i turned to face Him, my head lowered, and thanked Him for my punishment and apologized for acting like i did.

Not that it should matter the force of the punishment, but i am now fully aware that my Master has in fact come into His own and that each punishment from here on out will leave a lasting affect on my mind and my body.

What Ownership means to me?

In today’s society, women are encourage to be independent, equal partners to their spouses.  In my opinion, while a woman should know her strength and should be able to live on her own, there is a certain strength and freedom that comes from belonging to my Master.  Having been a single parent and used to being everything for everyone at all times, i found it truly exhausting and always felt like not enough.  When Master agreed to make the transition from being my fiancée to being my Master, a great deal of pressure can off of my shoulders.  Now, i trust that Master will help me to spend my time wisely and make sure that everything is done when it needs to be.  By giving up the control and the responsibility, i am able to still do everything i would be otherwise, but in a more fulfilling and meaningful way.

Many people think of women as being irrational, emotional, demanding, and over controlling.  i will admit, i fit these stereotypes when our relationship began.  Over time i have become better at controlling my emotions and i have learned to better communicate with my Master.   A Master/slave relationship eliminates many of the “typical” relationships struggles and requires a clear line of communication between partners.  This has truly been the quiet blessing W/we weren’t expecting.

Also, i believe that a family functions better with a traditional dynamic with the man as the head of household.  When there is a conflict, the final decision belongs to Master.  i trust that he will make the best decision for U/us at the time.  This isn’t to say i don’t get to voice my opinion, Master is very thoughtful and often asks for my opinion, and usually goes with my first choice.

Even though many people worry about what you give up when you give someone else control of your being, i have gained so much!! It truly is only in serving Master that i have ever felt so free.