What a Real Spanking Feels Like

So it happened.  i was fully aware that i messed up.  Master knew it, i knew it.  When Master instructed me to strip and prepare for punishment, there was clearly a difference this time. What has always hurt my heart, and stung my bottom was about to be worse than ever before.  Master had such a confident and determine air about Him.

As i laid across His bed and prepared for the worst, i felt this wave of fear come across me like i had never experienced during a punishment from Him before.  Expecting a small warm up lash with His belt, i prepared.

As the belt came swiftly and hard i heard it crack upon my bare bottom and felt the sting much deeper than every before.  Master watched as my body trembled and shook with slight shock of the powerful blow.

As Master told me to never disrespect Him again, i agreed- hoping to soften the next blow.  Then swiftly i heard and felt the next impact.  my rear end feeling like it was on fire, my body trying to crawl away from the pain, my mind knowing i needed to stay put, and my mouth apologizing through pained moans.

One by one the belt hit harder and faster than i had ever known before. With each smack i gripped onto the bedsheets with my fists tighter trying to diffuse some of the pain.  my little wimped grew slightly with each sting until it was one long moan of pain.  Master, knowing that i was done, reminded me of who He is and that He demands my respect-ALWAYS.  i turned to face Him, my head lowered, and thanked Him for my punishment and apologized for acting like i did.

Not that it should matter the force of the punishment, but i am now fully aware that my Master has in fact come into His own and that each punishment from here on out will leave a lasting affect on my mind and my body.

What is the Toughest Punishment i Have to Deal With?

This is such a great question. Honestly, every punishment offers a great deal of difficulty because i know it means i have disappointed Master.  Because Master incorporates many different kinds of punishments, i find many of them difficult in different ways.

Emotionally, i would have to say that being denied the privilege of serving Master is most difficult. To know that i have disappointed Him so much that He feels it best to not have me serve Him is absolutely awful.  It makes feel sad, ashamed, and lost.

On a humiliation level, having write about my transgressions is absolutely the worst.  In the past Master has had me write about what i did wrong, why it was wrong, what i should have done, and why i won’t do it again. These writing assignments are awful. The entire time i am writing it, i know the answers and i know that i knew better from the beginning. These are humiliating for me because it is embarrassing to know that i made a mistake that was totally unnecessary.

Physical pain is also very tough.  Master has used a variety of implements for my spankings. This far Master has used His hand, a hairbrush, His belt, a metal spatula and the wooden handle of a bath brush. i will be and say that i have not felt the full force of all these implements. Master took a while to get used to the idea of inflicting physical pain on me (a result of 30 years of being told to never hit a girl.) Lately, Master has really come to understand the importance of the pain within O/our dynamic.  Master chooses the belt most often as it is handy.  my least favorite is the metal spatula as it is very large and covers a great deal of skin. The spatula offers a swift sting over a large area and offers no flexibility to soften the blow.

Every single punishment is difficult. If it were easy it wouldn’t be very effective.  Each and every punishment leaves me feeling ashamed but loved. (For more on my feelings during punishment please read this blog post.) Master is always looking for more punishment ideas to add to his arsenal, so please feel free to share you favorite punishments, or least favorite as the case may be, in the comments section below.

(thanks STAR for the great question. i enjoyed really thinking about the different punishments and putting my thoughts on paper.)

How Does Correction Make me Feel?

When i have not completed my duties to Master, or i have been disrespectful to Master, it is necessary for Master to discipline me.  Usually, this includes a punishment of some kind.(For more on why punishment is necessary in O/our relationship, please read this blog post.)   i understand that this is an important part of O/our relationship.  The short answer to how this makes me feel is ashamed and loved.

The primary feeing during and after discipline and correction is shame.  i am ashamed that i have disappointed Master.  Master does so much can for me, and when i do not live up to the standards he has set it greatly disturbs me.  i know my rules, and what is expected of me. Master doesn’t ask more of me than i am able to do, so there is really no excuse for my needing to be corrected. i also feel shame that my actions caused Master to go against His want to not punish me.

Discipline and correction also make me feel loved.  Master does not enjoy having to correct and punish me.  However, Master does so out of love for me.  Master knows that in order for me to be fufilled in this relationship, my service should eventually become flawless (well, close to flawless- no one is perfect after all). When Master goes against the in grained theory that He should never treat me badly by society’s standard, it is an internal struggle.  With each smack or minute of punishment i know that Master is fighting Himself.  Why does He do it then? Because Master’s love for me is so strong.  i know this and feel it fully with each act of discipline- and i thank Him for it.